In this month of heat waves, the cats at Civil War Tails would like to offer some tips on how to beat the heat!

First, some tips on what not to do:

• Do not roll barrels of gunpowder out of the powder magazine of a burning building. Instead, just close the magazine door, bank it with dirt, and run for the nearest air conditioner.

• Do not sit inside the turret of a monitor—you will bake! …Unless you’re a tuna casserole and need to bake.

Now, what to do:

• Lounge in the grass and watch the clouds go by while the BBQ cooks on the grill

• Dive full-speed off a 15-foot bank into the river

• Ride a train through the countryside—the faster, the better!

• Go swimming. (This tip is recommended by the horses of “Desperation at Skull Camp Bridge,” but not particularly recommended by the cats.)

• Dig a tunnel. It’s cooler deep in the earth, just a little stuffy.

• Ride your horse in the nearby stream—just make sure he doesn’t roll in it with you still in the saddle!

• Fill a bucket of water to pour over your head. …Or maybe this cat is recommending falling into the creek. Your guess is as good as ours!

• A tip from Patrick the Only Clay Dog and Joanie the Museum Dog—take a nap! Patrick recommends napping in the grass. Joanie recommends a sofa under an air conditioner!

Bonus Tip from Joanie:

• Eat ice cream!